Practise makes perfect: developing psychological flexibility
An ability to flex around our thoughts and feelings rather than getting stuck on them is a vital part of emotional well-being. This is known as psychological flexibility – read more about what that is and why it’s important. But how can we actually achieve this?
Dr Steven Hayes, the founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), has identified 10 core skills that can help us all adapt to life’s challenges and build resilience. By building these into our daily lives, we can start to see positive change.
The ten skills
1. Present moment awareness
What is it: This involves bringing attention to the here and now, fostering a mindful awareness of thoughts, feelings, and experiences without getting lost in them.
Why it matters: It helps reduce anxiety about the future or regret about the past, anchoring us in the present.
How to practise: Do some simple mindfulness exercises, like focusing on your breathing or observing the sensations around you.
2. Acceptance
What is it: It means embracing thoughts and feelings as they are rather than trying to suppress, fight or change them.
Why it matters: When you reduce the emotional struggle, thoughts and feelings pass naturally without amplifying them.
How to practise: Notice when an uncomfortable feeling arises, label it, remind yourself that it’s ok and you don’t need to change it.
3. Cognitive defusion
What is it: It’s the ability to step back and view thoughts as being separate from reality, rather than absolute truths.
Why it matters: It weakens the hold of negative thoughts and so reduces their impact on how you behave.
How to practise: When a difficult thought arises, visualise it as a passing cloud or write it down and see if you can think of ways of seeing it from a different perspective.
4. Self-as-context
What is it: This is the recognition that you are more than your thoughts, emotions or even your roles. It brings into the focus the observer within you.
Why it matters: It offers a sense of perspective so you feel less consumed by negative thought patterns.
How to practise: Try to observe your thoughts without identifying with them, seeing them as something you ‘experience’ rather than ‘who you are’.
5. Values clarification
What it is: Clarifying values means identifying what truly matters to you – the principles that give your life meaning.
Why it matters: Values serve as a compass. They guide your choices and actions, especially during tough times.
How to practise: Start by examining what your values are and writing them down. Look at the different areas of your life such as relationships, work, health and personal growth. Identify common themes and gain a greater understanding of the framework that guides a life that is meaningful for you.
6. Committed action
What is it: This is the active pursuit of goals and behaviours that align with your values, even in the face of hardship.
Why it matters: When you make a positive commitment to act in this way, it increases fulfilment and resilience.
How to practise: Set small, achievable goals that reflect your values. For example, if family connection is important to you, commit to reaching out to a loved one weekly.
7. Self-compassion
What is it: It’s being kind to yourself, especially when faced with failure, inadequacy or suffering.
Why it matters: If you treat yourself with understanding and patience, it helps you build resilience.
How to practise: When you descend into negative self-talk, ask yourself if you would speak to a friend in that way. Give yourself space and time to offer comfort and understanding rather than criticism. Give yourself a mental (or physical!) hug.
8. Perspective-taking
What is it: It allows you to view situations from different angles and viewpoints, including those of others.
Why it matters: It broadens understanding and empathy, improving relationships and reducing conflict.
How to practise: When disagreements arise, take time to actively reflect on the other person’s viewpoint. Expand your reading: find out how people with differing views see the world, perhaps by exploring different media sources to the ones you usually read.
9. Emotional openness
What is it: It’s the willingness to experience a full range of emotions without judgment.
Why it matters: Allowing all emotions, rather than resisting or avoiding them, leads to healthier emotional processing.
How to practise: Notice and label your emotions as they arise. Let them pass through naturally, knowing they don’t require action unless they resonate with your values.
10. Behavioural flexibility
What is it: This allows you to change your behaviour in response to different situations while staying true to your values.
Why it matters: It prevents rigid responses, allowing you to take action in positive ways that contribute to your well-being.
How to practise: In difficult situations, try to pause and choose to act in a way that aligns best with your values. By doing this, you help to break the cycle of habitual reactions.
Putting it all together
Each of these skills improve psychological flexibility because they foster an open, adaptable mindset. Practising these skills gradually builds a foundation of resilience and emotional strength, allowing you to respond to life’s ups and downs with clarity and balance. Building our skills in this way can fundamentally change how we interact with the world, leading to richer, more fulfilling lives.
*Rowan provides exercises based on ACT to help users focus on their values and take committed actions towards a more meaningful life.